Stealing Latvia, Final Episode

Sixth & Final part of Ra-gana’s story

Good bye, dear Latvians, said Ra-gana and gave a wave with her right hand. The left hand was clutching the broomstick.

Though your eyeballs were  tasty, and you look properly stupefied standing there together with a blind new president as one, I have—as always— much to do. Stumble on the best you can.

I am off to Sweden to bathe and turn from being all black to being all white. After that, I will start taking Chinese language lessons. The Minister of Education in Sweden says that within the next ten years all Swedish children will be able to study Chinese http://www.businessinsider.com/sweden-chinese-2011-7 . I will be one of the first Swedes to speak Chinese.

“How can that be?” asked the Latvians. “Did you not say just a short while ago that your origin is proto-Latvian, and that proto-Latvians thought of you as the Sun (Ra) herding (gana) her sheep?”

“There is no contradiction,” answered Ragana. Raganas are also in Sweden. The Swedes call us “wise women”. Unfortunately, after proto-Latvians became Latvians and then Latvians became neo-Latvians who do not think their history is worth a serious study, I can see that I am not held in any great esteem here.

We were listening to your story with great attention, answered several neo-Latvians. We thought that it was rather fascinating.

I know it, said Ragana, unfortunately, you did not take the advice that I gave you. Here you have one Andris Berzins as your next President, while I told you (and him!) not to take the post until after you all vote in the Referendum on July 23. If you claim that you are not so blind and see that the Saeima is corrupt and guilty of the accusations of the former President Zatlers (click on speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT6944am6IY), then a massive vote by you FOR DISMISSAL of the Saeima would surely indicate that President Berzins is in office on a near perfect “fake” of hands by those who have repressed you all these last twenty years and more. But no such massive vote seems at hand. If you had the courage of your convictions and had seen that “fake”, I would have given you back your eyeballs, and the Sun would again be shining over Latvia.

“Ding dong ditch”, said the Latvians.



A lively city-state



I passed the ball to you. True, it was but a paper airplane thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower. You were supposed to catch it.

You mean a long shot?

Yes, of course. However, neither Zatlers of Berzins have the courage to do the unexpected. They are nerds to the trodden path, not leaders able to face risk. The Swedes, however, got an eye-hold on the airplane.

You mean, the Swedes are giving Chinese lessons to all Swedes who speak English? In short, teach Chinese to all who speak English—even Latvians?

Yes, answered Ra-gana, ra-zhena in her thoughts. I am like a mound of hot peppers http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2753/4520081028_6d7df3de9d.jpg . I am wealth and misery spilling over. I am horrified by the military returning to combat combat and violence traumatized soldiers http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5966/p/salsa/web/tellafriend/public/?tell_a_friend_KEY=2572 .

The Latvians looked at each other taken aback by Ra-gana’s speech. They were even more taken aback by the fact they saw nothing. Their memory was gone. They remembered nothing of how their eyes had turned black and flown down their cheeks as yellow puss for the witch to lick.

Suddenly, there was a great silence over the space known as Latvia. Ra-gana had flown and paradolia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D8aeaeSMZY&feature=related  was the rule of the day again. The sun threw her shine over the planet Earth still, but the Earth was noticeably turning from green to rusty grey. This was the result of the great deforestation project http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaQ5_9G-33k  of deforestation companies. Even though only half of Latvia’s export (7.5% last year) is timber and other forest products, think how much forest will be exported in ten years at 3.75% of gross exports. And what about all the previous years?

The Latvians began to talk among themselves.

Did you hear that the Chinese have offered Latvia 100 billion euros if we rent out Riga to them? Over the next hundred years, they will pay even more to us--depending on the agreement. Perhaps we should think of moving their capital city to Jelgava.

I never heard of such a thing. No Latvian would ever buy into such a story.

Yes, I know, it's a pity. However, it is a real enough story. I read about it in a blog on the internet. Even if such an offer is not real, it is a idea worth a thought. So far, Riga has been stealing most of Latvia’s money. Maybe ‘stealing’ is not the right word, but even the former Latvian President Zatlers mentioned in his good-bye speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT6944am6IY how the regions of Latgale and Vidzeme were not getting their share in development aid.

I agree that if everyone rode to Riga in a two-story bus and sat on the second tier, they would see past the stubble along the roadside and see the no-forests and vast clear-cuts beyond. If the trip between Valmiera and Riga (a 140 km stretch) does not suffice, Latvians can tell reporters of similar sites of roadside deadness.

I would have the Latvian Minister of Trade give the Chinese a hint that the idea may be worth an exchange of views. If the Chinese laugh it off, then there is no way that Sweden can be beat at becoming the teacher of Chinese. Stockholm would gladly become the Hong Kong in Europe.

On the other hand, if the Chinese make Riga their capital in Europe, the Swedes lose. It is the Latvians who then will teach Chinese to Europe. Surely, a lease of Riga, say, for a hundred years, to the Chinese (or the highest bidder) will include a clause that when it comes to employment, the job preference goes to Latvians.

Ding dong! Who is at the door?